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Some Fears Men Express About Pregnancy |
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Late -
Pregnancy
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Some Fears Men Express About Pregnancy Your partner may feel increased anxiety as your pregnancy progresses. He may be concerned about your health, the health of the baby, sex with you, labor and delivery, and his ability to be a good father. Share your own concerns with him; it may be enough to calm his anxieties. Understanding what your partner is feeling can help you adjust to his reactions to your pregnancy.
One survey revealed the following common fears among men approaching fatherhood:
• being able to participate in the birth
• doubts about their personal maturity
• dropping the baby
• having enough time for the baby
• in-laws and parents coming over too often
• losing the relationship they have with their partner after the baby's
• birth
• losing their freedom
• providing adequately for the family
• the baby's crying
• whether they'll be good fathers
Your Partner Can Help You
Let your partner know there are things he can do for you during pregnancy. Tell him how important he is to you. Be specific about what you want, so he can help you effectively. Some helpful things your partner can do are listed below.
• Keep stress to a minimum.
• Communicate about everything.
• Be patient and supportive.
• Promote good nutrition.
• Encourage exercise, and exercise with you.
• Help around the house when possible, and do the strenuous chores.
• Attend prenatal checkups when possible.
• Plan for the baby's arrival.
• Learn about the birth process.
• Read, study and prepare together.
Ways To Reassure Your Partner
You can reassure your partner and help him grow more comfortable with your pregnancy and the idea of fatherhood. Suggestions from other pregnant women include the following:
Reassure your partner about the impending birth. Let him know you are comfortable with whatever level of participation he is willing to give.
• Appreciate his help. He'll probably be more willing to offer his help if he knows it means something to you.
• Listen when he talks. Encourage him to express his hopes, fears and expectations about the baby's birth and being a father.
• Be as supportive of him as you can be. Let him know you have faith in his abilities.
• Talk about how you will divide responsibilities. List what you can do and what your partner can do. If possible, practice before the baby's birth:
• Help inform your partner about the birth and living with a new baby. Together, take childbirth-education classes and other classes that are offered. Share this and other books with him. Tour the hospital, and discuss any questions and concerns you have.
• Encourage your partner to be as involved with the baby as he wants to be. If he wants to take paternity leave from work, encourage it. Help him learn about diapering, feeding, bathing and living with a new baby.
Father's Health May Affect Baby's Development
It was once believed that a man had little to do with a pregnancy, other than contributing sperm to fertilize an egg. Today, we know a father-to-be can affect his baby even before it is born. Research has proved that reproduction and fetal development may be affected if a man is exposed to various chemical hazards before conception. The father's exposure to alcohol, cigarettes, certain drugs and some environmental hazards can harm an unborn baby. Usually male exposure is most harmful if it occurs just before or at the time of conception (rather than months or years before).
Bond With His Baby
Bonding between parent and child is very important. It's easy for a mother to bond with her baby; they are linked in a number of physical ways. It's harder for a man to bond with the baby, but you can help your partner do this. He can begin bonding with the baby before birth and continue after baby is born. Encourage your partner to do any of the following:
• Talk to the baby while it is in the uterus.
• Talk to the baby soon after birth. Babies bond to sound very quickly.
• Hold the baby close and make eye contact; a baby makes associations based on sight and smell.
• Feed the baby. It's easy if you bottle feed. If you breastfeed, let him give the baby a bottle of expressed breast milk.
• Help with daily chores, such as changing diapers, holding the baby when it is restless, and bathing and dressing the baby.
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