Why won't she bond with us?

Question.
I've had my four month-old Ragdoll for a few weeks now. The breeder said to give her lots of cuddles. I've loved and tried to cuddle her since day one, telling her all the time how she is a good girl and how precious she is. However, she resists cuddles struggling, miaowing and sometimes even biting. I don't let her jump out of my arms-she gets put down on to the floor gently. She acts this way with everyone in the family; she just    isn't bonding. I wanted a Ragdoll because of their reputation for having easy-going, friendly temperaments. As this is my first cat I have no idea what is normal kitten behaviour. Should I persevere in trying to cuddle her, or leave her to come to me/us when she's ready? Will she change as she gets older? It's the seemingly spiteful biting that I don't know how to deal with. At the moment it's just a warning 'leave me alone' nip, but as she gets bigger I'm concerned she could end up drawing blood. What do you advise?

Answer.
The good news for you is that your cat's behavior is entirely explainable in terms of feline behaviour and her apparent aggression toward you is certainly not motivated by spite or hatred. However, this does not mean that her behaviour is acceptable and it is important to take action now to prevent the aggressive responses from becoming potentially harmful.

As a human being you depend on social interaction with others for your physical and emotional survival. In contrast. your cat is an independent survivor for whom social relationships are certainly not essential. This does not mean that cats do not form relationships with other cats or with people, but that the importance that they place on those interactions will differ, as will the way in which they display appreciation of their social relationships. Unless your cat feels she has some degree of control over your relationship it is possible that she may feel threatened by your well-intentioned displays of affection. Cats need to be taught to accept close physical interaction, such as being cuddled, since it is totally unnatural for a cat to place itself in a position where it is unable to use its primary defense strategy of flight. Allowing all four feet to be taken off the floor makes a cat very vulnerable, and many will react adversely to this sort of handling. Indeed it is not uncommon for owners to comment that their cat can be extremely affectionate when on the ground, but that it struggles and bites when they attempt to pick it up. Perhaps your kitten found cuddling rather overwhelming when she first came to live with you.

I would advise you to take a slightly different approach. The aim is to teach your cat that being in close contact with you is rewarding but in order to do this she needs to feel that she is free to escape at any time. Stroke and pet her only when she approaches you and only when she still has all four paws in contact with the ground! Reward her with tasty food treats, such as prawns. When she comes close to you but do not attempt to keep the interaction going once she shows an intention to walk away. You should begin to notice that she approaches you more frequently and when this happens you can start to use the prawns to entice her onto the sofa to sit beside you, without any restraint, and gradually you can encourage her up onto your lap. Do not hold her against her will or prolong the interactions after she has shown signs of wanting to get away. As she learns that interaction with you is not restricting her ability to take control but results in the arrival of a tasty treat, she will be more inclined to spend time in your company and will not feel the need to use aggressive responses. ..

_{source Your Cat Mag.}